A few months ago on a cold a rainy morning, I received a series of bad news in the course of just a few days. The last piece came as I was on my way home from dropping my son at school on a Tuesday. I felt incredibly sad, tons of fear, and really lonely. I knew participating in my scheduled business call that morning would only be performing, so I cancelled. While driving home I considered my options for the day.
I felt so overwhelmed by my feelings about all these circumstances, the only option I could see was to go home and get back in bed. Which is very much doing something different for me, since I usually try hard and power through, no matter what.
After a good sob, I realized how tired my body was on top of the feeling storm. I thought a nap would be another step of self care. It was 9:30 in the morning.
I slept for three hours and as I was drifting off I had an idea that ended up being so helpful I hope you’ll find a way to put it into practice.
I wondered what it would be like to make a gratitude list with all the hard, overwhelming, scary and uncertain things in my life that day. Usually I write the beautiful, compelling, and miraculous when I record gratitude. But that afternoon I grabbed some colored pens, a glass of wine, my essential oils and turned some music on and I began putting all the hard stuff on paper.
My mom dying last October. Two kids with broken bones. Financial insecurity. Family dysfunction. Chronic illness. Always feeling behind. I kept adding to the list and then I drew lines between the entries. Towards the end I got out my watercolors and amazingly as I worked, I felt reconnected to myself.
I saw all the things I never would have wanted to happen as stepping stones to other events that have brought great healing and joy into my life.
It was just a second, maybe two, but I really felt how the web of my life is beautifully intertwined. I knew in my heart that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and that everything really is working out for me.
Not a single circumstance changed, but I did.
That Tuesday, I chose to stay with my feelings, and to try something different. While It wasn’t a quick fix, by practicing something different, I got to experience a small shift in my heart. I was thumbing through that journal the other day, and you know what I felt as I passed my Radical Gratitude page? The same gladness and spacious trust I had when I created it.
We are eager to hear what creating space for gratitude brings to the surface of your life. Join us in The Nourish Circle and share what’s coming up for you!